by Judy Ryan
Individualism, especially the rugged variety, is often touted as the most noble state to be actualized in a person. I disagree. Caring, trustworthy and supportive connection with others is of greater value and results in courage, confidence, wellbeing, and optimism. That’s not to say that healthy individualism and self-reliance are not important at all, but toxic individualism is based in separation and personal striving rather than connection to the greater community. At its extreme, toxic individualism rejects inter-dependence, fosters aggressive competition, and causes people to engage in endless efforts to prove themselves, acquire and consume too many resources, and relentlessly focus on personal gain, at the cost of others, the environment, and even their personal peace. This has an impact on everything, including your business.
Toxic individualism is appealing because it idealizes control, freedom, and self-determination. Yet it leads to disconnection, loneliness, insecurity, and a relentless desire for status, accumulation, and adulation. In today’s world, with our frequent focus on self-made success stories, many people suppress vulnerability, empathy, collaboration and intimacy. In the documentary “I Am” about Tom Shadyac, a famous movie producer, asks famous wise gurus what is wrong with our society and what should be done. One thing that stood out to me is the definition indigenous Americans had for mental illness; the acquiring and keeping more than one needs or can use. A lion kills and eats a gazelle. It does not kill more than needed. Toxic individualism is mental illness.
Many come to think, “Why should I care about others? They don’t care about me.” Yet, that way of thinking is at the root of all stress and struggles within and between people. We don’t really see the costs of this on either side. The person who is not interested in others has great difficulties and causes the greatest harm to one’s self and others. Adler urged people to do a good deed every day; one that brings a smile to another. When people wonder, “What’s in it for me?” my answer is: deep joy, fulfillment, meaning, and pride in yourself.”
To break out of toxic individualism, each person must embrace social interest, recognizing the consequences they are causing and choosing to make them positive. Toxic individualism negatively impacts the mental, financial, emotional, and social health of people and organizations. When it is overcome, self-expression, personal growth, and autonomy are honored within and between people. Trust, mutual respect, support and shared purpose are consistent. Resilience, happiness and meaning grow because people are contributing talents and gifts to one another and the world. Meaningful connections are valued and systems of individuality are balanced by community care in which everyone is supported in being wildly successful.
One of the things I most love about the work of Alfred Adler and my work in using Applied Adlerian psychology within companies, is the idea that social interest offsets inferiority feelings. Recognizing this and focusing on helping each person live from purpose to intentionally contribute and belong, leads to all the things everyone in the organization wants: responsibility, trust, caring, loyalty and full engagement. Unlike Freud and Jung’s work, Adler helped people focus on future goals rather than childhood traumas. While understanding our past can be helpful, using personal power in service to all, changes blame to encouragement, criticism to support, and isolation to collaboration. This leads to expanded potential, and contributing good in life and work, all while experience joy in being human. Social interest leads to success and health, whether in a workplace, home, school, neighborhood, country and world. It promotes connection, service to others, and collective action so toxic individualism cannot take root and you have a healthy thriving organization.
LifeWork Systems promotes social interest, emotional and social intelligence, and personal responsibility in all of our services. Let us know if you’d like further information and our support!
Judy Ryan (judy@LifeworkSystems.com), human systems specialist, is owner of LifeWork Systems. Join her in her mission to create a world in which all people love their lives. She can also be reached at 314-239-4727.
People hire LifeWork Systems because we help businesses become agile and manage their priority system: their human system. I hope this article helps you make sense of what’s most crucial to your evolving organization!